Part I - Original Essay:
In D.H. Lawrence's "The Rainbow," comparison/contrast combined with purposeful repetition showcases a woman's desire for something she believes is beyond the farm: knowledge.
Life on the farm is less than adequate for Mrs. Brangwen; she is through with it being "enough for the men that the earth heaved...that they helped the cow in labour..." (1-5). Nature and work on the farm are not enough for her. She yearns for "another form of life...the magic land" (21), where others have been "discovering what was beyond" (26). The men on the farm are representative of a life without true knowledge, which she believes lies in the city. However, there is someone who embodies perfection in her mind: the vicar. In contrast to her own husband, the vicar speaks "the other, magic language" and has "the other, finer bearing..." (41-42). Her husband, "in his large geniality, seemed dull and local" (51).The vicar has "power over her husband" (53-54) because he possesses knowledge beyond her own comprehension. In her mind, knowledge equates to power.
Mrs. Brangwen "craved to know. She craved to achieve this higher being..."(56-57). The repetition of the word "craved" highlights her desperation for knowledge. She craved knowledge in the same way those on the farm would crave food. Even more important, however, is the repetition of the word "know." Used in many forms, it is repeated multiple times throughout the second half of the passage - it is even the final word. Mrs. Brangwen cannot seem to identify her own quest, as she asks rhetorical questions such as "...what was it?" towards the end of the passage. However, through Lawrence's purposeful repetition, her desperation for knowledge is made clear.
The quest for knowledge haunts Mrs. Brangwen, who cannot identify her own struggle, but yearns for what is not tangible. By comparing and contrasting not only life on the farm and life on the city, but Mr. Brangwen with the vicar, Lawrence shows the torn world this woman is living in; and through repetition, he is able to convey the woman's feelings of desperation for what lies both beyond and in the farm, but not in herself: knowledge.
Part II :
I gave myself a 6 on this essay. I felt that I had an adequately developed analysis, and made use of appropriate specifics of the text. I felt that my ideas were expressed with clarity, but weren’t completely and fully developed. This is what kept me out of the 7-9 range. The only element of a “6” essay I felt I surpassed was syntax and diction. I do not believe I had any errors when it came to these – but, I probably could have elevated my language. Given that I haven’t written an essay since November, though, I felt I did a decent job, and am perfectly okay with having a “6” essay as my starting point.
After researching D.H. Lawrence, I began to understand other complexities of his piece. The biggest one was probably “blood knowledge.” I noticed the word “blood” being repeated at the beginning of the passage, but could not connect it with the woman’s desire for knowledge (especially with the vicar). Had I understood it earlier, I definitely would have incorporated it into my essay. I also noted that Lawrence “believe industrial western culture was dehumanizing because it emphasized intellectual attributes to the exclusion of natural of physical instinct,” which partially confirmed my thoughts, but also elevated my understanding of the passage. I would have discussed this in my essay, too, had I previously known about it.
After reading from 5 Steps to a 5, participating in class discussions, and norming the essays, I became aware of a few things that I wished I could’ve included in my essay. The repetition of other words besides the ones discussed in my essay (ex: blood, looking) could have been helpful in my own piece, but I hadn’t been able to make strong enough connections to use them. I felt that the 8/9 essays in the packet from class were able to really “tie things together,” which I tend to do in my head, but not on paper. I would definitely find a way to do that if I had the opportunity to go back.
Simple reflection also gave me ideas of ways I could improve my essay. I could have incorporated one more literary technique into my thesis/essay. Perhaps I could have further discussed the use of rhetorical questions and/or the tone of the passage. I also feel that I could have used more elevated language and focused on things such as juxtaposition more. My introductory paragraph was short, but it was also to the point, so I'm unsure as to whether or not it was satisfactory. In the end, though, focusing on more complex literary techniques and parts of the passage is what will really help bump my essay into the 7-9 range.
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