How hard it is to keep up this ruse when my Ophelia is dead. And what's more, I am being blamed for her death. But I could never kill her - "I lov'd Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers could not...make up my sum" (4.1.90). The poor girl, she was confused; she had been lied to for too long. And even though I am hurt that she believed all of the lies about me, I am more upset as I think about the toll they must have taken on her. "The habit of mistrust...[was] something new to her" (Seng 220). She did not confront me, though even if she had, I would have been forced to lie to her. So perhaps this could not have been prevented. Perhaps it is true that she was "a violet in the youth of primy nature...-sweet, not lasting." (1.3.15.).
I was reading the paper today and I came across an article written about my dear Ophelia. As painful as it was to read all of the awful things that were said about her, I had to agree. "Indeed, she had believed [me]...and her trust was misplaced" (Seng 220-221). Ophelia chose to put her trust with her family- and though that is not unreasonable, what is not okay is that she believed every word they said. She trusted them, and it got her killed. Polonius - what a conniving liar. His "spying, sneaking eavesdropping..." (Seng 221) finally got him killed as well, though I would rather him be alive if it meant Ophelia would be, too. She told me "I was the more deceived" (3.1.117), but she was being more deceived by her father and brother than me. She had no idea. I told her "I did love you once" (3.1.112-113), and that was my way of trying to speak the truth. I suppose my contradiction did not help...but it had to be done! I had to avenge my father! I just wish things hadn't gone this way.
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